Could I interest you with a Ron Weasley?
by xoxoisLOVE
Summary: Hi. Welcome to Life! What kind of guy would you like?" "Hmm.... Do you have a Harry Potter with glasses?" Oh. Just taken, by a pretty little redhead. " What about a Victor Krum with the accent?" Fresh out, sorry. -Could I interest you with a Ron Weasley?
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **I don't own Harry Potter, *sigh*

This is my first fanfic, so don't get your hopes up!

-

**Could I interest you with a Ron Weasley?**

_**Prologue**_

I'm not a Harry Potter.

I don't have a wicked scar on my forehead. I'm not brave enough to face He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, _heck, I can't even face the spiders in my closet._ I wonder how I got into Gryffindor anyway. I'm about as courageous as a pussy cat. Scratch that, Crookshanks could beat me up. Was Godric the dumb one?

I'm not a Fred or George.

I can't crack a joke that will make everyone laugh. 20% of the time, I end up bearing the nasty result of a hex or I get a date with Snape, in detention. Like everything I own, my jokes are hand-me-downs. I couldn't even imagine making a shop that could make fortunes; _my brain capacity is mildly over TROLL._

I'm not a Ginny.

I'm obviously not the family favorite; they imagined their 6th kid cute, polite and **a girl**. Why do you think I'm bunking with the ghoul? I never won the Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor. The best I've played was when I believed I drank a luck potion.(But in my defense, Harry COULD'VE drugged my pumpkin juice one day, _a guy like him.._)

Oh, you'll love this last one, Mione:

I'm not a Victor Krum.

I'm not internationally popular. I can't say "Her-mow-ninny" in that accent you love. I'm not that good looking. All I have is freckles, red hair, and a face that turns just as red when I'm embarrassed or angry. Which is always. I look like a **tomato**. A _vegetable_. I mentioned it once to her and she snorted, "Ronald. A tomato is a fruit."

Tch. _Know-it-all_…

And I end up here. Another year at Hogwarts, silently watching her. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a stalker. Though Harry tells me this on a regular basis. I don't see how he's to talk, the way he forgets how to digest when Ginny winks at him at lunch. I should know, I'm the one who saves the bloke from choking.

And like everyday, Harry says, "_Ron, you're my best mate, but get moving!!! Tell Hermione! And don't say 'I don't like her'! I've seen you dreaming, and I'm pretty sure it's not your pillow you want to snog."_

Ha-ha, that's hilarious …_git._

**Note to self: Get a new best friend.**

**P.S.-Take idiotic, former best friend's advice.**

**

* * *

**Prologue's done! Hope you all like it, I hope you'll read the following chapters!!!! Reviews are loved too~

And with that, I shall begin writing Chapter One!! ^_^

**Preview:** " I_ don't give rat's fart that you're **bloody Harry Potter!** Oh, you're the **Boy who Lives! News Flash: You only live once.**_


	2. Chapter 1: Get Animal Control!

**Author's Comments: **Thanks for all the reviews!!! I'll work hard for you guys!!! And now, Chapter One!

**Chapter One: Get Animal Control!**

I'm not Mr. Popular at school.

In family meetings, they know me as 'the long and lanky one'. Some people only talk to me because I'm best friends with the famous Harry Potter, the guy with the scar. _Big whoop. I've got a scar on my bum, want to swoon over me?_

Another one of my bizarre friends is Hagrid. He's half giant but he wouldn't hurt a fly.

_Well, he would. But he wouldn't have meant to._

I love him, but he has this obsession with creatures. And I'm not talking about your cute and cuddly bunny rabbit here. _He thinks they're too plain and boring._

His definition of cute is anything scaly, sprouting wings or tentacles, carnivore, and almost always;

_**Illegal and dangerous.**_

And that's why I don't like visiting him or his 'animals'. The few times I did, I ended up meeting a giant spider with babies or seeing him play 'mommy' for a _dragon_. A fire breathing, meat eating _**dragon. **_

_**Yes, nothing's more cute than a dragon.  
**_

But today, I had to go to that zoo of a hut. Not only because he wrote a letter saying it was urgent, but because there was a parchment of work left to do at the castle; which I had no intention of doing.

"Ron! What are you doing here?"

I had the sudden urge to skip towards the voice. But I have more dignity than that, **Ronald Weasley does not skip!**

_I forgot to mention my third and most important friend, Hermione Granger. The girl I __secretly__ liked. (Even though the whole student population figured it out before me. I think even __**Snape**__ knew.)_

You'd think it'd be easy to let the girl you like **know you like her.** It's like asking your parent "Where do babies come from?" and expecting to hear the _actual_ answer.

And while I pondered on the day I _was_ brave enough to pose the question to my Dad, recieving the " Oh, Molly did you call me? Yes, I will help you!" even though my Mum was in the bath-excuse; a bear of a hug clobbered me from the back.

"Hermione, Ron! Glad you could make it! Come in, Harry's already inside. I need to talk to you three." Hagrid had a smile on his face. _That's a good sign right?  
_

"I need you to take care of my pets today."

From the looks on our faces, no one wanted to be babysitter for his _'pets'_. That could mean the entire Forbidden Forest!

**_Darn. I should have stayed home._**

"I've heard a rumor of a guy selling a chimera and I've got to take a look!" _Yes, add another one to your collection._

But I couldn't say no to that face. It was cute in its own freaky way. _Like a cuddly panda before it got ready to eat your guts._

So, we were stuck with his zoo.

-

There was a reason me, Hermione and Harry quit _Care for Magical Creatures,_ and it was right in front of us. Unicorns, hippogriffs, Blast Ended Skrewts, anything with four or more legs were out in his yard, the slugs and what not stayed indoors, munching on Hagrid's furniture.

I began to miss the flobberworms.

Actually, everything was great to begin with. It just came to a tragic end.

Hermione made sure the Blast Ended Skrewts stayed away from each other and from anything else. Harry was good with Buckbeak, so he handled everything with wings. All I had to do was feed the unicorn. But I never did figure out what they ate. _The **other **reason I quit Hagrid's class._

All that was in Hagrid's cauldron was something slimy and yellow. _I don't even think it was edible. _I should've trusted my thoughts before I set the cauldron down.

One munch on the yellow mush, and chaos ensued.

The unicorn kicked the cauldron of mush to the Blast Ended Skrewts which, well- _blasted_. Blasted every last one of them. _No complaints there._

And it blasted over the herd of hippogriffs, which went on a rampage on to us; the poor, defenseless humans and everything else in sight.

"RONALD WEASLEY!!! WHAT DID YOU DO!?" _Hermione was hot when she was mad, I had to admit._

"I fed the unicorn!" "WITH WHAT!? DUNG?" _Harry…. wasn't so hot. Well, maybe without the glasses; he did look rather sexy today after his morning shower.  
_

Anyway, I explained Hagrid's mystery in a pot.

Apparently, that mush **wasn't** edible. It was manure. For plants. For the Herbology professor. **_Oops._**

**_-  
_**

The next few minutes were like a scene from a horror movie. There was biting and scratching and a hippogriff kicked me in the-

"HARRY! HERMIONE! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE; BEFORE WE GET KILLED- that turkey already hit me where it **hurt**!" _Sorry, But I wanted to be capable of riding a broomstick after._

I tried my best to make a dash for the exit, but Harry pulled me by the collar. "We can't just leave!!!! Don't you think Hagrid would be sad to see his precious babies dead !? I'm Harry Potter! I've got a reputation to keep, I've got to save them!" _I hated when he goes all 'superman' with me._

"I don't give rat's fart that you're **bloody Harry Potter**! Oh, so you're the Boy who Lives! **News Flash: You only live once**." I tried to make another escape; dodging Harry's wrestling tackle on the way, when I heard Hermione yell for help. Freedom can wait, _Ron to the rescue._

Hermione didn't look hurt or in pain, she looked fine. (Thank goodness!)

But the unicorn on the ground didn't. It looked like it was dying.

"Ron! This unicorn is giving birth! I need your help!" _WHAT!?I can't help you! I can't even help **myself**!  
_

"GIVING BIRTH!!???NOW!!!???" I don't want to see the miracle of life right before my eyes.

"Yes. Now. And you're taking the baby out, HURRY!!!" _Correction. I'm not seeing it. I'm making it happen._

"Okay, I saw this in a movie once. PUSSHHHH!!!!"

She was now screaming "RON! IT'S A UNICORN, YOU IMBECILE! IT CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU! GET THE BABY OUT NOW!!!!!" And so, I did.

...

_Oh look, it's a boy._

_-_

That day I figured out two things that day: 't serve anything without knowing what it is, and 2. _**NEVER**_ be a doctor. _NEVER._

Hagrid came home with the animals in _decent_ condition. (Harry went nuts on Stunning Spells with his wand.) I had my hands full with the baby. _I named it Mike._

"Awww, Ron! The fella likes yeh!" _It's not so bad itself. Kind of cute actually. _" I'll go get it some food. **ACTUAL** food." Hermione glared at me. _Still hot._

All of a sudden, the unicorn in my arms jumps down, nudging Hermione gently towards me so there was a few inches between us. _Yes, good boy! Go fetch Mione for me!_

"Oh, the little guy thinks you're his mother!" Hagrid guffawed. Harry sniggered at us and got back to his repair work. Hermione turned crimson.

I learned a third thing today. Get kids. _Or baby unicorns._

"Just call me daddy."

-

Wait! _What happened to __**the slugs**__?_

"_ WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FURNITURE!!!!!??? WHAT ARE THE SLUGS HERE!!???"_

_..._

Hey, at least I figured out what _**they**_ ate.

**_xoxo_**

YAY! CHAPTER ONE's complete!!!! I fixed stuff to this chapter, just to let you guys know.

Hope you like it, if not, I've failed *sob*

Just joking! Feel free to give some suggestions and I'll make a chapter you _will _like! Anyway, please review! I shall update soon!

** Preview: ** Life's so cruel. They all want me to grow up old and alone.

I was going to be **Percy.**

**Chapter 3: Date for Six?**


	3. Chapter 2: Date for Six?

**Authors Note: **Chapter 2 is ready and done!!!! Sorry, there won't be a preview for the next chapter. I must find inspiration and ideas! But, do not fear, updation will come near!!!!

xoxo

**Chapter Two: **_**Date for Six?**_

You know, when I imagined my date with Hermione, I pictured just the _**two of us**_.

There was **no Harry**, **no Ginny**, and _especially_ no **FRED AND GEORGE.**

I never imagined being harassed by these _'unwelcome'_ guests, getting **no** alone time with said _'date'_ or that said _'date'_ , involved me wanting to kill off half my family, an act that would send me straight to Azkaban . _Great, I'll be cellmates with Malfoy's daddy._

It all started on our first trip to Hogsmeade. I finally pumped my self up with a rather pathetic excuse of a pep talk; involving some "You're the man, Ron"s and an "Every girl wants you, you sexy cheetah." (Sadly, Harry caught that last one, and was snickering ever since.) _"sexy cheetah…." _He was literally laughing like a hyena on our way down for breakfast.

"Put a sock in it, or I'll stuff **Dobby's** in it for ya!" I threatened. Harry froze.

That shut him up.

-

I saw her lovely bushy hair from a mile away. As usual, she had some type of educational material in hand to read as she ate.

The one time I found her with literature that wouldn't bump up her grades was when I saw her with Ginny's _**Witch Fever Magazine:**__ A-Z on zapping zits to top ten hottest warlocks. _Her excuse was "I'm merely researching…I would never look at….that's preposterous..." It looked like she was just caught in an evil act.

That scarlet blush on her face was priceless.

I squeezed myself beside her pushing Seamus what's-his-face out the way, completely ignoring the rude hand gesture he put up. "So Hermione, want-to-go-with-me-to-Hogmeade-today?" _Dammit, messed up._

_So much for the sexy cheetah._

I'm glad she couldn't see my legs while she eyed me suspiciously. They were shaking in a way that the Jelly Jinx couldn't rival up to. (Either that or Ginny's getting revenge on me for _'accidentally' _letting it slip out to Harry that she had a live size poster of him that she made out with.)

"Ron, we _**always**_ go together. Me, you and _Harry_. Remember?"

_Harry, we're __**SO**__ not friends anymore._

And as if on cue, the jerk comes here. With Ginny. Drawing Hermione's attention _away_ from me. And what's that on Ginny's face? A diabolical smile with intentions I guessed, were to inflict pain or embarrassment to her brother; **me**. Oh, joy.

-

Hogsmeade is supposedly able to make anyone smile; with trick hats at Zonko's Joke Shop, Fizzing Whizbees at Honeydukes and a hot butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. But nope. Not me.

First off, Ginny stopped all my attempts to talk, touch or see Hermione. Blasted sister. She even got Harry to help her! (Probably didn't have to do much. That guy's a sucker when she pleads.)

Life's so cruel. They all want me to grow up old and alone.

I was going to be **Percy.**

I was there whimpering in the corner looking like a five year old who got a time-out. "Ron, are you okay?" Hermione asked from out of nowhere, crouching down to my level. Drat, she found my hiding place.

_No, I'm not okay! I'm going to be __**Percy!!!**_

Wait a minute. No Ginny. No Harry. There's even a choir there, singing some sappy song. Ron, this is your chance!!! Ask her now, fool!

"Mione, would you go out with-"

And, just seconds before I finished, two identical faces popped out from the shop in front of us. _Goodbye chance._

"Hey Ron! Hermione! Oops, did we interrupt your special moment? " said Fred or George. I didn't care so much, but if a burial was to be made, they should at least be in the right coffin, right?

"WHY ARE YOU HERE!?" I didn't know why I was asking, it smelled like **Ginny.**

"Our little sister called us." _Yep. __**Ginny.**_

"Said something about reinforcements." _Great. She's made a whole army to make me miserable. _But not today! **I** **WILL get my DATE!**

"Hermione! Would you_-_"

"Go out-?" sang one.

"With me?" chirped the other. **The worst things about twins:** If you're not dealing with one, it's _always_ the other.

_Two reductions to the family won't make a difference…_

_**There are still five kids left.**_

Well, that's what I concluded, until Ginny and _my so called friend_ Harry came to join the _**fun.**_

"What's this? Ron's attempting to ask a _girl_ to a date!?" _What, was I more compatible to a monkey?_

"And you invited Fred and George! Splendid!" Yes. Like running a sword through you. _**Splendid.**_

"How about a date for six?**"**

Ginny and Harry, you're dead.

_**Four kids left and The Boy Who Died. **_

_**Yes, I like the sound of that.**_

_**-**_

**And here is where we left off.**

My romantic idea of a candlelit dinner ruined. _Not that I could afford it, anyway._

Still, I know I can afford something more romantic than **Happy Guppy Seafood Shack:** **All you can eat shrimp**- _A flick of a wand and they're there!_

Fred and George could afford better. WAY BETTER. I'm talking **buttered lobster from France**. _Oui, c'est magnifique!_

This is to make sure Hermione will get a good look at my bad side.

And by that, I meant:

Telling the waiter I'm a 'spiller'; and that I needed the adult bib.

Dripping water on my jeans to make it look like I couldn't hold my bladder.

There was a stage where people could sing, the twins forgot that it was only for those who **wanted** to. And you can just imagine what happened from there.

I knew my ABC's. _I just couldn't sing them._

**And the list goes on and on.**

**The title:**

_**Why my daddy doesn't approve of you.**_

That was the first buffet I ever got out eaten. I was too depressed, and it was all thanks to those monsters I call _family_. Look at them, stuffing their faces with shrimp.

**It sickens me.**

…**. And it sickened them too.**

From my left and right, there came a volcano of green hurl. This was followed by the aroma of dead fish. And the only one in the table who wasn't puking on my shoes:

_**Hermione.**_

**My prayers were answered, in the form of food poisoning.**

**-**

"**All in all, it wasn't one of our best nights, huh?" **Hermione was the lucky one out because she was allergic to shrimps.

So, after we heaved the others back to the Hospital wing; I finally got my alone time. _And a spell to get the ick off my shoes._

"How about this? The next time we go out for dinner, let's just go alone."

_The two best things that she could ever say:_

_**Go out**__** and **__**alone.**_

...

_**Hah. Take that Ginny.**_


	4. Peas, Mr Granger? Part1

**Author's Note:** Hello again!!!! No, this isn't a new chapter. It's an extra! It's another chapter with the twins, including _their_ point of view!!!! Hope you like!!! Reviews are loved, tell your friends!!!

**Extra: Peas, Mr. Granger? (Part 1)**

Using a spell to peek an answer off your neighbor is cheating.

_Don't worry, I got the wrong answer. I peeked off __**Fred.**_

Jinxing someone when they have their back turned is cheating.

_I hit Malfoy. He had it coming._

Using magic to make your baby brother look good in front of his crush's father is _**not cheating**_.

It's simply practicing one's abilities and using it for the sake of the poor and needy…

_**For Ron.**_

**-**

The Weasley twins are know for a lot of things.

For our mischief and havoc at school. _We had a whole file cabinet of misconduct in our name. _

And more back at home. _Mom did always say we would end up in jail for __**something.**_

_**Hah. Like we would ever get caught.**_

For our humor. _Whether dry or not._

And for our famous joke shop. _For where else would you get __**U-NO-POO**__?_

Yes, the Weasley things are known for many things.

_Who knew those things would help Ron one day?_

-

"You're **NOT **staying with _**me**__-_ I mean us, for Christmas at the Burrow?"

I enjoyed Harry's company at Christmas very much. But I can't plant one on him under a mistletoe.

That would be **sick** and **wrong.**

"I'm sorry Ron. But I promised my Dad I would come home this year. He wants me to meet someone." Well, I can't go against Daddy….

**WAIT. Who's this **_**someone**_**?**

I tried to keep it calm and casual. "So, who are you meeting?" _That sounded calm enough. No need to get jealous; it's probably just another girl who-_

"The son of my dad's friend. Our age. He seemed nice in the picture." The jealousy was back._ Didn't Hermione know better than to trust a book by its cover?_

I stared at the picture.

Messy, caramel colored hair. Green eyes. A pretty boy.

With muscles. Designer clothes. And a winning smile.

He did look nice.

"So, what's this bloke called?" _I needed to know my competition._

She giggled, "His name is Rob. Rob Wesley."

**Ah, my doppelganger has come.**

…

_**Yay.**_

-

I, Fred Weasley, got that most interesting piece of information.

I stepped out of the shop to get the mail. It consisted of the usual- the paper, order forms, restraining orders. One letter seemed out of place. It read:

**From**

**Roonil Wazlib.**

_Amazing that he survived so long. _

_Can't even spell. R-O-N. __**Ron.**_

I skimmed Roonil's letter all the way down; I got the key words: help, enemy, destroy, _**Bob**_, steal, my girl.

_Basically, he's freaking out._

The last part caught my eye the most. He needed some help.

I smiled. This could be fun.

"George! Cancel our Christmas plans. We'll be spending it with the Grangers."

-

Hermione kept talking about Rob the rest of the day. _**Stupid Bob. (I refuse to have any sort of similarity to that 'man'. So he's Bob now.) **_

I knew what would happen if they met. A few muscle flexes, mention he owns a convertible and show off his shiny teeth. Then, _**BAM!**_

Hermione falls in love with _**him.**_

"Could I join you?" I blurted it out without thinking. "Well, I haven't seen your parents in a while and I'd simply _**love **_to meet Bo- er, _**Rob.**_**" **Hey, it wasn't _entirely_ a lie.

Plus, if Bob so much as _touches her, _**I'll be there.**

"Okay! I'll tell them you're coming. See you at Christmas!" And Hermione was gone.

Now…

Let me get the twins.

-

Usually, me and Fred return to the Burrow for the holidays. Or if we miss Mum's cooking.

Today, we were here on a favor.

We greeted the family up the stairs and headed to Ron's room. He was trying on the ghastly dress robes he wore to the Yule Ball.

"I thought you wanted us to make you look _better_ in front of Hermione instead of this _Bob,_ not get you kicked out of their house."

Fred entered the room and laughed at the sight. "Her dad's going to take one look at you, let the other guy in, and slam the door in your face."

"I really appreciate the support, dear brothers." Ron said sarcastically.

"Here. Put this on, it'll look way better and you'll look more mature." I handed him a decent outfit that didn't scream "_frilly caveman"_

It did make him more mature. But I knew this was still the guy who was so mature, he laughed at any mention to the word 'poopie'.

So, while Fred fixed him up, I gave him the plan.

"While you're having dinner with them, we'll be hiding outside watching.

We'll hear you with our Extendable Ears, so we'll tell you what to do and say.

And for that, we need this." I showed him something that looked like an earring.

"You can hear our instructions with this. Newest product in our store, we're testing it today." _You'll be happy to know we don't test on animals. Just little brothers._

"Now remember. These people are muggles. And the guy you're competing with doesn't know _anything _about wizards. And we want it to stay like that."

Fred gave his hair a final ruffle and said, "So no talk about Quidditch or wands, okay?"

"Leave the magic to us."

-

Fred and George called a cab to drop us off to Hermione's place. We thought it'd make a bad impression to drop in from their fireplaces by Floo Powder.

_Plus, Mrs. Granger might get a heart attack._

I was about to knock when one of the two pulled me back.

"Wait; let me buff you up a little!"

And with a flick of his wand, he made me a few inches taller and made me more muscular.

_You've got to love magic._

And onward I went.

Hermione answered the door wearing a very pretty dress and heels.

I had to sniff a nosebleed back up.

"You look good." The words came out a little odd.

It was hard to talk and suppress blood from running down your nose at the same time.

"You too! You look kind of different. Did you get taller?"

I lied, saying I drank more milk.

She didn't need to know what magic I used tonight.

I entered her house and sneaked a peek at the mirror. I did look _**good.**_

"_Captain Vanity. Stop looking at yourself and go greet her parents."_ I forgot the twins were watching me. I felt so exposed.

And with one last look, I went to see Mr. and Mrs. Granger.

But someone was already there; Rob Wesley was in the building.

-

"Ron, this is Rob!"

I was happy to see I was taller than him, but his bright smile still blinded me.

_I don't think I brushed my teeth. Maybe I shouldn't smile so much._

I gave him a toothless smile and shook his hand. I was tempted to snap it off right there, but everyone was looking.

"Hermione talks about you all the time!" _As she should._

Hermione punched his arm playfully, "Oh, shut up." _Don't touch him Hermione! He's got cooties!_

"_Okay, Ron. Give them a joke," _Fred said. Right, give them a joke.

"Do you know why 6 was scared of 7?"

"Because 7, 8, 9." I looked around to see if that did the trick.

No one laughed.

I could see the twins shaking their heads.

"_What was __**that**__!? 7, 8, 9! We're not interested with numbers, Ron!" _George screamed through the earpiece.

_Well, I'm not a Muggle.I don't know what humor they want!_

Rob was looking at me smugly. I had a rough idea on what was going through his head.

_**He**__ didn't mess up yet._

…

_**Yet.**_

_**xoxo**_

That's the end of Part 1 of the extra. Part 2 will come shortly. Dedicated for the season!

Merry Christmas/ Happy Hanukah/ Happy Holidays/ Etc!!!!

See you soon! ^_^


	5. Peas, Mr Granger? Part 2

**Author's Note: **Well, I hope you liked Rob Wesley. Sadly, this shall be one of

his last appearances….

**Oh well.**

Part two, here we go!!!

-

**Extra: Peas, Mr. Granger? (Part 2)**

Dear Santa Claus,

I hope the forty Muggle stamps I put on this letter were enough for a trip to the North Pole. I'm not used to trusting Muggle mailmen with important information like this.

I have more faith in my old owl Errol._ And he's just one hit-on-a-glass-window more to dying._

I know you do indeed exist.

With the merry elves, the red nosed reindeer and the toy workshop.

I wait for your sleigh every Christmas; the twins even tried to capture you one year, _they caught Dad instead._

Ginny's the only doubtful one. I bet _**she's**_ in your naughty list.

**Non-believer.**

Anyway, I want to request something.

This Christmas, instead of the itchy sweaters or wicked gifts, I only want one thing.

Make sure Rob Wesley gets a big lump of coal in his stockings.

Or better yet, make it so there's a burning lump in his pants _**right now**_.

**P.S. ** Do this for me and you'll have heaps of cookies and big ol' jug of milk waiting for you!

_**Yours Truly,**_

_**Ronald Weasley**_

-

"Ronald! In this house, we do not play with vegetables!"

If only I wasn't underage. I could've uttered a spell to turn this yuck they called 'food' to something worth eating.

But, under the glare of the woman's eyes, I forced some peas down my throat.

Yes, now I knew where Hermione's bossiness came from.

_**The mother.**_

After the 'bad joke' incident, Hermione's parents thought Rob Wesley was some sort of prince, and I'm the jester with tomatoes being thrown at him. And now I'm stuck with a front view of Rob making moves on _**my**_ girl, butchering my meal in envy.

Hermione loved Rob the moment he said "Even though sports are great, I'd rather read my books and study."

And we all know Hermione would marry a textbook if it were legal.

But the way things were going, I wish she marries the book than become **Mrs. Hermione Wesley.**

I stabbed at my food again.

-

Fred and George Weasley were hungry. And when they were hungry, they get very cranky. **This is the last thing we are **_**ever**_** doing for you, Ron.**

When we signed up for this mission; we didn't know it would be so **HARD. **

But apparently, if what you're working with is a hopeless fool….

It would be a very long night.

We always knew Ronny absolutely adored Hermione. He just had to go through puberty to actually realize it.

Actually, we thought Hermione felt the same way sometimes. I've seen her steal a few glances of him, and all I have to say is: **Hermione, for a smart person, you have a pretty bad taste in guys.**

The worst part is, in those few stolen glimpses of affection, **the loser-of-a-brother ruins it! **With his arrogance, jealousy, short temper and utter idiocy, he messes up and pushed Hermione right into the arms of another guy.

**Rob Wesley.**

"Little brother, you _**so**_ owe us for this."

And the two of us lifted our wands, and aimed our prey.

-

I saw the spark of light shoot right past me, straight to Rob's face. I'm pretty sure Hermione would've sensed it too, but she had eyes only for _Rob._

Then, Rob Wesley farted.

No, I'm serious. And a big, loud, smelly one. Hermione's face looked horrified.

_Perhaps the fumes of gas got into her eyes?_

"Excuse me, I must use the loo." So, with his hands on his buttocks, red as a beet, Rob exited the room. The sight made me forget all about my mess-up.

_**Loser.**_

By ear piece buzzed, Fred was chuckling from the bushes outside.

"_That was rich. Never tried that spell before! Supposed to make your victim have a bad case of diarrhea."_

"_That buys you about half an hour, Ron. Surely that's enough to turn the tables around?"_

I smiled.

"Yeah. Thanks."

-

Mr. Granger was very protective of his only daughter.

She was his baby, and he wouldn't give her up to some git. That's why he arranged for Hermione to meet Rob. He was his patient (he was a dentist), teeth as shiny as gems! That was the kind of guy he approved.

He did not like Ron.

And he certainly _**hated **_the idea of him coming for Christmas.

He had met him once when Hermione first introduced them. He was a younger, with the teeth of a bunny rabbit. It looked like he didn't care much of hygiene either. But Hermione talked about him **often;** the genius at chess, a pig at meals and the jokester. She liked him, I could tell.

And that's why **I hated him.**

That was why, when he finally liked her back, Daddy wouldn't let him. He would never give her to a _brat_ like him.

Rob had bustled out of the room as quick as the wind. _Pity the brat didn't leave._

_Should've poisoned his drink._

But Mr. Granger was a very fair man. _I'd give a kid a chance. _

_**Then**__ I'd kick him out._

-

Ron felt like he was being questioned for a crime.

Rob was gone, but he was quickly replaced.

**Daddy came out to play.**

"So Ronald, what are your hobbies?" he asked. He was waiting for me to say something stupid. I _**would've**_, if it weren't for the answers being whispered in my ear.

"_Just say stuff Percy would find exciting." George said._

All work and no play. That was Percy.

"I like doing my work, sir. I always hit the books. Got to think of the future, right?" I gave a nervous laugh.

My laugh was so shaky, he was sure to find out I was lying.

Hermione sure did. But then again, she knows me enough to know I only read books of the _cartoon_ variety.

"**So! **You're a nerd!" _No, but you're right. Percy is a nerd._

"Oh no! I do sports, I'm very active!"_ That wasn't a lie. Not entirely._

He stared suspiciously, "What **kind **of sports?"

What was I to say? Quidditch? 'We fly in the air and use broom sticks!'

He'd think it was **_'sweeping'_** on air.

"I, er- play football!" His glare lessened in intensity. I guess he liked football players…

_Does that mean he approves?_ Hermione gave me a hopeful smile.

I was about to breath a sigh of relief when he suddenly shot the question.

"So what are your true intentions with my daughter?" Daddy looked serious.

"**DAD!** Ron's not like that!" Her face was pink.

"Well, I just wanted to-" I was turning pink too. Hermione's dad caught the blush on my face, and attacked with another interrogation.

"Hah! I know what you're thinking! You want to take my baby away so you can snog her like there's no tomorrow!!!I know your type!" He stood from his seat and poked me hard on the chest. _Ow._

_I had to admit, he was right._

But I wouldn't say it out loud. "I wouldn't do that! Right, Mione?"

"Yes… he wouldn't" And although she said that, she was staring at me like I was some sort of pervert.

"So, what do you think of my daughter then?"

_What do I think of her? What do I think of her?_ I eyed the bushes for support of the twins, but they had no words of advice.

"She's nice. Smart. _Pretty." _I whispered that last part. The old man didn't miss it.

"Pretty, is she? **SO**, you like her then!?" he demanded.

"Well yeah. I love her. She's the best." I smirked at the affect this had on Hermione. She was smiling and blushing just like she did for Rob. Except it was _**me.**_

Her dad and mom sensed this too. _Hah, bet you didn't think I would be able to match Rob, huh? _Then, hesitantly, he asked, "What do you love her as? A friend?"

I froze. This was it. One answer and Hermione could be mine. I looked at the bushes again; they were grinning and gesturing for me to go on.

"No. I don't love her as a friend." I stared at Hermione. She looked so surprised; I wonder how surprised she would be after I continued. I took her hands and opened my mouth. "Would you be my-"

But at the doorway, Rob was entering the room again.

The thirty minutes were up.

_**xoxo**_

Hope you liked part two!!! I think a third part will have to be made… *sigh* I guess you wouldn't call this an extra anymore, huh? Oh well. My Christmas gift to you guys.

Anyway, after this chapter, this very **long** one, I think there will be one last chapter, maybe another extra (I'll put another character, Malfoy, Lupin, Neville, etc.)

Yes, I think that's the plan. It's a short fic, but I'll make more!

…

**Probably.**


	6. Peas, Mr Granger? Part 3

**Authors Note: **Sorry, I haven't updated for a while….

I've been attached to this game, must finish…….

Anyway, here's the last part of the extra!

Pls. Read and Review!

-

**Extra: Peas, Mr. Granger? (Part 3)**

Dinner ensued, but the room was quiet.

Was it because the bloke came back, or the fact I was emitting a dark aura all around.

Mrs. Granger seemed to see the aura, the way she glanced at me in fright, and cleared her throat. "Why don't we give the presents now?" she suggested.

…

Presents?

_**I knew I forgot something.**_

_**-  
**_

Fred and George Weasley saw the panicky expression on Ron's face, and immediately saw the problem. _**He didn't buy a present.**_

_**Dork.**_

"Can't you do anything right!? George and I can't stay in this bush anymore! Strays have been trying to pee on us all night!" The last stray did more than pee too.

"_Well, I was too busy concentrating on other stuff to worry about a present!" Ron hissed._ The Grangers probably think he was talking to himself.

"JUST GET OVER HERE! We knew this kind of thing would happen." Ron exited the house, with some lame excuse like, "I need some fresh air first".

I pulled out a velvet box from my cloak, "Here. It's a diamond necklace. That will make her smile."

And with that, he ran back into the house.

-

I raced to the living room and threw the gift in Hermione's free hands.

_Hah. Take that __**Robert.**_

"Awww… It's beautiful! Thanks Ron!" I stuck my tongue out at Rob, he glared back.

But in Rob's hand was a bigger velvet box; and look- a bigger diamond!

**Darn.**

"Here Ron. I even have a gift for you." I didn't trust his smile, but I wanted the gift.

I got a **banana. **"I thought it suited you** the most.**"

_What? Did I look like a monkey to him? _I chewed on the banana angrily.

-

"Oh! You two, come with me! I have my presents for you in my room!" Hermione smiled. As we trailed behind her, we shoved and pushed to be first in the room.

The room was filled to the top with books! I had to smile. _So she read Muggle books like a maniac too._

There was another thing that stood out. A picture of Harry, Hermione and me. And if you block out Harry, She's hugging me and me alone.

Aah! The good old days.

"Wait here, I misplaced Rob's somewhere." She gave us both a smile and left.

Rob and I were alone.

-

Rob was the first to speak, he stared at the same picture I did. "SO, you seem to have a good relationship with Hermione." There was some annoyance in his tone.

"Yeah, Mione and I get along great."

_I don't need mention the __**hundreds of fights**__ before and after we do get along._

"You love her, don't you?" I nodded in response. I truly did, and it took a dinner with the parents and this dream guy to prove I did.

"Well, you're wasting your time. She's mine." He sounded so sure and determined.

I took a step forward so I was my full height- including the few inches the twins put on me- and growled, "Like I'll let you take her away."

Rob just smirked, "Oh please. You're no competition. I see how you look at her, desperate really." I clenched my fists so hard it hurt. I couldn't hit him. **No matter how much I wanted to.**

He seemed to find this amusing and continued, "I know everything I need to make her swoon-thanks to her dad- who approves of me completely."

"Plus, look at me! I'm gorgeous! But look at you."

I was going tomato red again. _Bill got the looks._

The last sentence crossed the line. "I never lose the girl I want; I always get her. But don't worry; next week when I find another target, you can have Hermione back."

I shoved him to the wall and wiped the grin off his face. There would be a bruise there tomorrow.

-

I was about to knock him out when two hands pulled me back by the shoulder. Fred and George transported to the room.

_Probably got sick of the bush._

"How'd you appear from nowhere? There are even two of you!" Rob stuttered in shock.

"**We're twins, stupid."** George flicked his wand and big warts appeared on Rob's face.

And with another flick, Fred made him bald. "Say cheese, **Bob." **I picked up the camera on Hermione's desk and snapped a shot.

"Oh wait George! Little Robbykins found out our secret! Whatever shall we do?" There was a smile plastered on Fred's face.

**"**_**Beat**_** the memory out of him, of course!"** He held his Beater Bat in his hand while Fred held Rob.

Rob was screaming so much, I was surprised no one heard. _Then again, these were wizards._

_-  
_

Another zap was heard.

It shot straight on Rob and knocked him out on the spot. Hermione entered, presents in hand, with an amused expression. "You know you could've used a spell." She said to the twins.

They grinned, "Where would the fun be in that?" They picked Rob up and said, "We'll take care of this guy! You guys continue!"

There was still laughter as they disappeared.

"So, you heard everything?" I asked nervously. _Is it hot in here or is it just me?_

I was sweating gallons when she answered, "Yeah. Right from when Rob said I was his 'target of the week'."She shook her head and sat on her bed.

"You didn't hear before that?" I felt myself reddening again. "Maybe."

She gave a smile gave me a peck on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas Ron! And thanks… I'm glad I didn't fall for him" She gave me her gift and went for the door.

I felt the spot she kissed and called out to her retreating form.

"Did you fall for me tonight?" There was a long silence; I guessed she already left.

But she called back, "Maybe."

-

_**xoxo**_

Hope you liked it!!!! I shall continue on with the rest of the story! Last chapter is next with the special guest: Victor Krum! See the conclusion soon!!!

Bye-bye for now!


	7. Was that supposed to be a proposal? Pt1

**Author's Note:** Guess who's back?????

Yes! I'm back from my, er… _break_…. And here's the last chapter of the story! Part 1…

Yes... there's still more!

**NOW FEATURING: Hermione's POV**

**Chapter 3: Was that supposed to be a proposal? (Part 1)**

(Insert gay intro music here)

"_It was a stormy night at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_Everything inside the castle was quiet and peaceful; except the familiar sound of an exercise video in the room of one Severus Snape. But worry not, for our story does not take place in the strange life of a greasy haired man._

_No, this story is about one Hermione Granger. And although her life is indeed strange, it does not consist of any work out tapes..._

_Well, not that we know of."_

"Hermione…"

"Yes?"

**Hermione…**

"**Yes??"**

"**HERMIONE!"**

"**I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! WHAT IS IT, RON!?" **

It was supper on what _**would**_ have been another great day of learning. Sadly, I had one of those dreams again. The one with Ron in a tuxedo; yes, _**that dream.**_

The dream where it always ends with him saying, "Hermione! PLEASE MARRY ME!"

I never did get to answer him. But… it's not like I would've said yes….

**That's preposterous! Absolutely insane!**

**I do not like Ron Weasley.**

"Hermione… You're blanking out on me again." _Darn, I thought he left. _

Oh shoot, his face is_ way _too close… 3 inches away…2…

"**RON! BRUSH YOUR TEETH! YOUR BREATH STINKS!" **I blurted out, my voice high pitched and panicky. I hated lying, but I needed to regain the skill of _breathing._

Still, it did the trick.

He drew back and got up, muttering a 'goodbye' on the way; he was probably off to learn the function of mouthwash.

**Oh shoot. I think he was about to say something important.**

_Umm… Earth to Hermione! _**That's**_ what you're avoiding!_

Yes, I, Hermione Jane Granger, am a coward. A flobberworm had more backbone than me.

But… It wasn't my fault. He started it!

I gave him 6 years to return my feelings. What does he do with those 6 years?

Make immature chicken noises and make fun of people- mostly **me.**

So what did I do, I moved on. And, I almost forgot completely, until he became all _cool _and _cute_ and that dinner with that jerk Rob, he was so-

…

**WHAT AM I SAYING!? STOP IT, HERMIONE!**

**BAD! BAD! BAD!**

While I continued slapping myself for those 'indecent' thoughts; Ginny Weasley hesitantly sat down beside me, assuring those around us I haven't gone bananas.

_Hey, Ron got a banana for Christmas this year! Hahah-_

**Shoot. Thought about him again.**

_SLAP!_

_-_

"_**Am I suppose to swallow this junk?!"**_

Ron Weasley was in a deep crisis.

That crisis involved him, a girl…..

And mouthwash.

"No! Just put it in your mouth. Gargle. _**Then spit. It .Out**_."

Okay, that crisis also involved me. Annoyed, dumbfounded, Harry Potter.

"Ron, you know I love you right? **No, not like **_**that**_**, idiot!"** Ignoring his friend's nauseated expression, he continued, "I'd even kill the spiders under the bed for you! But when you rush to me, yelling 'It's an emergency! Come quick!' I was kind of expecting something along the lines of _Voldemort in the bathroom_ …. Not you, me, and a bottle of **mouthwash!"**

Ron was still nauseated, probably imagining Voldemort with a rubber ducky. Couldn't blame the guy;_**that is a nasty sight.**_

"Anyway, why freshen your breath now? Its smell driving away any girl within sight, it's never bothered you before!" And it wasn't even a joke. The only reason I'm not surrounded by fans 24/7 is because Ron was there too; _along with the stink of whatever he had for lunch._

"But it wasn't a girl; it was **Hermione**."

….

_**Uh, so what is she then, **__**a boy?**_

Luckily, Ron caught on and stammered, "No, I didn't mean it. She **isn't **a girl, I mean she is. But to me she's a…. not a boy! She's…"

_Is he trying to convince me this, or himself?_

"UH…. How bout' we just forget I ever said that. And how bout' we **not **mention it to Hermione." He was already sweating liters.

**Because we both know she would turn him to a toad if she ever knew.**

"Yeah, let's not." I agreed.

-

There were flowers raining down from the sky. Everything was pink with a touch of sparkles. Was that a unicorn passing by?

Hermione wasn't in her dormitory anymore. She wasn't even in Hogwarts! What the heck- is that Cinderella's carriage rolling by?

Wait. I don't remember it having _wheels_… or it being **HUGE**… Why is it making such a loud **VROOM** sound…? _ARE THOSE __**FLAMES**__ AT THE SIDE!?_

…. The carriage turned to a vehicle! It turned to a **MONSTER TRUCK!**

The doors opened, to reveal a beautiful princess in a veil. Well, that's what would've happened in an actual fairy tale.

In this messed up _nightmare_, a guy came. Gelled hair, leather vest and boots. _He was wearing a mask that __**looked like Cinderella**__ at least. _

He lifted it to reveal-

**Snape!? OH GOSH. This is a nightmare!**

"I'm your Fairy Godmother! Any wish you want-all that junk. What do you want?"

_I want to go home…_I opened my mouth to speak but Snape cut me off and said- "You want to go to the royal ball, **OK**! **AND** a dress? _**SURE!"**_ And with a snap of a finger, I ended up in my Yule Ball dress and was in the monster truck carriage looking back at Snape; who was cackling and waving.

"I'm never raising my hand in your class again!"

I turned away from the evil man and whimpered. Then I noticed another familiar face in the driver's seat. "HARRY! You are _Harry_, right?" If he was the prince, **I'm jumping out the window!**

"Yeah, I am! And look what your messed up dream did!" He pointed at his scar-

It was no longer a lightning bolt, it was a **rainbow.**

"Pfft…" I was rolling over in laughter on my seat.

I couldn't help it…. _It's so pretty!_

"IT IS NOT FUNNY! And I'm not even the main character of this stupid story! I'm Harry Potter, DAMMIT!"

I stopped laughing for a second, "Who are you then?"

"The rat that got turned to a horseman… I mean, why couldn't you think of Peter Pettigrew?" He continued, "Hermione! Wake up already!!!"

"I wish I could." I replied. I clicked my heels together saying 'There's no place like home' but my shoes weren't red.

I wasn't Dorothy; it wasn't the Wizard of Oz.

I was stuck in this backwards version of Cinderella, and I didn't want to know who the prince was.

"We're here." Harry said. He opened the door and took me down from the massive vehicle. I was about to leave when he called, "Hermione!"

"Yes?"

"Dream of a happy ending, okay?"

I smiled. I was going to miss him. "I'll try."

-

The royal ball was exactly like the Yule Ball. I quickly saw Ginny, and ran to her side. Maybe she could help!

"Ginny! Thank goodness-.."

But Ginny Weasley didn't seem to think my presence was so great. On the contrary, she was glaring at me with such hate; I backed away for a good 5 meters.

"This is your entire fault Hermione… We could've been such good friends…." She walked slowly toward me; a dark aura trailing behind.

"This could have been a _**good dream**_." She had a smile on.

I saw this in a Muggle horror film once.

_**The girl never made it to the sequel.**_

**xoxo**

**C'ya in Part 2 of the last chapter everyone!!!!**

**Hope u liked it! Read and Review, my friends! Read and review…**

**DUN DUN DUN!**

**( Sorry, that was random.) 3**


	8. Was that supposed to be a proposal Pt2

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone! Well, I know it's been forever but for those who still wanna read, here's the **second last chapter!!!** Srry, one more chappie guys!!!

**Chapter 3: Was that supposed to be a proposal? (Part 2)**

(Insert gay intro music here)

"_It was a stormy night at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_Everything inside the castle was quiet and peaceful; except the familiar sound of pleas for more pudding coming from one sleeping Ronald Weasley. _

_Yes, while Ronald was enjoying a fantasy of dancing desserts, a lady by the name of Hermione Granger was having a rather horrid nightmare._

_Let's read and see, ladies and gentlemen…"_

_-_

**HERMIONE'S POV**

**At the moment, she was trying to ward off the evil emitting from another strange character of this fairy tale. **

"HERMIONE! WHY ARE YOU SHOVING GARLIC IN MY FACE!?" Ginny demanded, slapping my only defense to the ground. It wasn't the best protection, but it was the only thing I could get. Ginny and her dark aura had backed me up all the way to the banquet table; and there wasn't a pointy intimidating utensil in sight!

"Well, if you were a vampire, then this might have worked." I admitted. In this nightmare of a dream, anything was possible. I mean, I can see Dumbledore right there doing pirouettes in a bunny suit.

Just then, Ginny turned back to her old self. "Vampire? I'm no such thing! Jeez, Hermione! I guess that brain of yours shuts off at night."

If I wasn't so confused by the sudden change in character, I would've slapped you for that insult. Jerk.

"So, would you like to explain to me why you're nice and pleasant now?" _Well, __**nicer.**__ That brain joke wasn't that pleasant._

"Another part of your weird dream. Thanks to you, I have a split personality. So I'm good and bad. You made me a freak!"

She glared at me. I guessed the bad side was starting to take over again.

"That's a lovely aura you have!" I tried changing the subject. I liked nice over evil Ginny.

"Oh! That's my dog, Fluffy!" The dark cloud sprouted 3 heads and began barking.

"Of course it is."

I've got Jackyl and Hyde as a best friend.

And she's got a mutant dog cloud for a pet.

…

I really need to see Madam Pomfrey after this.

-

**Usually, dreams last for a few minutes and then end. Usually.**

After I spotted Neville doing a belly dance in front of my bare eyes, I lost it.

"WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE A SIGHT LIKE THIS!?? Is it because I forgot to floss yesterday? I'll change! Just tell me why I'm here!" I screamed to no one in particular.

Then, a chicken bone hit me on the head. I turned around to see that familiar Cinderella mask.

It was my fairy godmother, Snape. And I lunged for his neck.

"I'm going to wring your neck, you hook nosed snake!" Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Hermione Granger is human. _She goes crazy like all the rest._

Sadly, Snape was a fairy. He poofed away just in time. The git.

"I've come to grant your wishes, you stupid little girl." If I wasn't so furious, I would have laughed. He was trying his best to look dignified in a silly pink dress.

But, this man was the only one who could save me from future trauma, so I shut up while he explained. "This fairy tale is almost over. You've seen the fairy. The coachman. The evil sister. But there is one more person. He's the hero. The knight in shining armor. The man.." he sang on.

"WILL YOU JUST GET TO THE POINT!"

"The prince! To wake up, you have to meet the Prince!" he said.

"Please tell me it's not Malfoy." I begged.

Snape cackled, as he and I flew off to find the mystery man.

-

"I hate you." I told the fairy after what felt like hours. "We've past three chocolate mountains, four dragons, and Dobby on our journey, and I haven't seen anyone remotely prince-like! It's your entire fault!"

Snape stopped flying instantly. The Cinderella mask made an angry scowl. "Really. If I recall, this is _**your**_ dream. This is all in your head, and let me tell you, you have one weird imagination. So, if you don't want me to help, allow me to put you down"

And then, 50 feet from the ground, he dropped me.

Luckily, I landed on something just in time. Something with a head… and a body…

Oh my. I sure hope that isn't my Prince.

"Hermownninny…" I hear from underneath me. My heart stopped.

"Viktor? Are you my Prince?" He nodded, got on one knee, and asked the question I wanted another to ask.

"Will you marry me?" At once the scene turned to a wedding. Victor held my hand, holding the ring that would betroth me. I was in a white gown, when I saw him there. This was my usual dream. The one with Ron in a tuxedo. But instead of a groom, he was my best man. Ron Weasley also had a ring in hand.

But it burned in his palm when I stepped closer, and he shouted,

"WHY'D YOU PICK HIM? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MARRY ME!" And before I could reply, he was gone.

And I woke up.

-

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! I CAN MAKE YOUR PERFECT ENDING TO THIS AMAZING STORY HAPPEN!!!LOTS OF LOVE!!!**

**-xoxoisLOVE**


	9. Was that supposed to be a proposal Pt3

**Author's Note: **Sup guyzz?? Well, here's the ending! Hope you love it! Snape's in this one again! And Harry, and Ginny… and everyone else…. SO!

Thank you to all my fans who read till the very end! You guys are awesome! Sequel anybody??

No? No one… Yeah I didn't think so…

**Chapter 3: Was that supposed to be a proposal? (Part 3)**

(Insert gay intro music here)

"_It was another day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_Everything inside the castle was rowdy and chaotic; except for poor Neville, who was still asleep in his bed dreaming of singing potatoes._

_But our story is not about dear Neville and his root crop issues; the end of this tale is about one bushy haired lady._

_Let's read and see, ladies and gentlemen…"_

_-_

**HERMIONE's POV**

Today, I, Hermione Granger am positively beaming. All that happened last night was all a nightmare; it did not mean anything in reality. It was way bizarre for reality anyway! So she set off for her daily trip to the library. And that's when it happened.

The library always had news books coming in weekly and on display. This week the book title was "Dreams: Fact or Fiction?"

My face fell. I snatched the book, and the first few words were… "Dreams, however strange, may hold a little part of reality in them. Research shows that they may be pictures of hidden feelings that you have shut out of your life. And your mind had then subconsciously let them free in slumber…"

"Lies!" I bellowed. It was absolutely absurd! I shook my head, I was being silly! The dream was the cause of stress, or possibly that bag of Bertie Botts Every Flavored Beans on my bedside table. _Bogey flavor does have that effect on people._

So, I shook it off. Maybe a little education will cheer me up! "Now let's see…what is my next class?" I looked at my schedule eagerly. My smile was quickly replaced with a scowl. _Snape._

-

**SNAPE'S POV!?**

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is a school anyone would want to attend. There isn't one student regretted entering the grounds. Yes, an injury occurred very other day. But other than that, it was simply wonderful. But all good things must come to an end. For under these grounds, in the dark cold dungeons, is a class that wasn't a school favorite and a teacher whose mere name sent everyone running for safety.

I am that teacher. I go by the name of Severus Snape, and being the Potions master, I am pretty respected. All know my name, all listen to my words, and all obey me. I strike fear and –

_**AHAHAHA!!! LOOK AT SNAPE!!!! HARRY, LOOK!**_

"**WEASLEY!!! SAY ONE WORD AND I POISON YOUR FOOD." **

As I was saying, I strike fear and terror in the hearts of kids on a regular basis. But today, I lost a bet with Dumbledore. He told me he could break dance; I told him that was absurd, so he proved me wrong. _I've never seen anything so scarring in my life._

And being the Muggle-lover that he is, he made me dress as one of their fictional fairy tale characters. _'You're playing a princess named Cinderella, cross bred with her fairy god mother! Aren't you excited?"_

Yes, I was just ecstatic. One day in a silly pink outfit, wings, and a girly mask….

'How am I supposed to strike fear and terror to all in PINK!?' I thought angrily. So I marched off to class, preparing threats to those who dared question his choice in tutus.

That day, was by far the worst in my whole tragic life. You'd think that they'd all be too scared to snicker, but Potter and Weasley were dying of laughter. And when the Boy who Lived laughs, they all start. _Rotten kid. _

The only thing that kept me going that day was one reaction I received. The Granger girl did not laugh, she did not even smile. Just an oh-so-familiar grimace mixed with a lovely look of disgust. What happened to her usual giddy nature; by now she'd usually be raising her annoying little hand to give me a response I really don't want to hear.

"Does anyone know the answer? Anyone- POTTER, if you're asking me where I got my shoes, I will shoot you! PUT YOUR HAND DOWN!" I turned to Granger angrily, while I had Potter in a headlock.

"Well!? I know you have the right answer! Go ahead and say it so I can pretend it's wrong and get this class over with!" I demanded. I needed someone to follow the law and order of Snape's Amazing Potions Class. Insulting Granger comes right at 12:30.

Granger then stood up and looked at me with a look of rage. "No, I don't think I will! You've ruined my life! You've kidnapped me, dropped me from 50 feet height and made me married!!! YOU BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP!"

(A/N: Kids, this is a family friendly story. I won't corrupt your mind with wizard swears! That and… I don't know any!)

The bell rang, but no one rose except her. They were all too shocked. **Where was the brainiac they all knew and loved?** She gave me one more sneer and stormed out screaming "And the answer is PIXIES!" _There it is._

I was speechless. Ruined people's lives, yes. But the rest doesn't sound like me-more like Voldemort. This reminds me, I need to get a present for his birthday soon. Maybe a nice card saying "HAVE AN EVIL BIRTHDAY!"

From under my headlock, Potter rose sniggering, "I can't believe she called you a BLEEP."

I frowned. Perhaps I should start spanking students. There isn't anything dark or magical about hitting kids on the bottom.

-

**HARRY'S POV**

"I can't believe he spanked me! Doesn't he know who I am?"

"Yeah, yeah. Boy who lived. Chosen one, you're amazing- Now back to more important matters!" Ron started. _Thanks for the support, buddy. Next time there's a spider in your bed, you can go squish it yourself._

"HERMIONE! She hasn't been looking at me since that Christmas at her house!"

"Maybe it's because of that big zit-"

"**SHUT UP." **He turned to inspect the non existent blemish anyway.

But, as much as I really enjoyed messing with him, I wanted this bloke to be happy. "Maybe, I don't know why, she finally realized she like you." _Smart girl. Bad taste._

Ron gave me a serious face. "Don't even joke with me Harry. I've spent years waiting for this moment." I rolled my eyes. "Yes Ron. Hermione likes you." I emphasized each word until he started nodding ferociously saying 'Yeah, it makes sense now!'

" Oh, this is perfect! I need to make my grand confession! Let me get my tux and Dobby!" he sang, and dashed away.

I stared at his retreating figure, wondering to myself, what on earth he was going to use a tuxedo and Dobby together for.

I turned around to find I was the sole person left in the hallway.

"…. I feel so alone."

**RON'S POV**

"Master Weasley. Why must I wear this?"

Dobby the elf was a kind, obedient elf. But even he had to question this peculiar command…. Especially if it involved him wearing a diaper.

"Ah! C'mon Dobby! You're supposed to be Cupid! I'm trying to be romantic here, so don't ruin my fun, elf!" I grinned towing him along with me.

"But sir… It's uncomfortable to my bottom…" I heard him murmur.

Now where would Hermione go if she just told off a teacher...?

The same place she went to when she was annoyed at me or Harry.

And when she was researching something for class.

And every day in between….

Ah yes. She's in the library.

And sure enough, she was sitting in her favorite table by the window, arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed… she looked so cute when she was upset.

"_NOT NOW RON!"_ I internally scolded myself, _"You can have your partially indecent thoughts about her later! You need to focus now! Don't get distracted now!"_

"Right. I've got to just go there and say it! Tell her 'Hermione I- **Oh man! Is that the latest issue of Quidditch Weekly signed by the Chudley Cannons unattended on the floor!?**" I'm sad to say my male instincts got the best of me, and I strayed direction to pounce on the lovely magazine.

It was unbelievable!!! What a stroke of luck! To have found this rare copy strategically placed right in front of Hermione…..

Hold on…. This issue always release first to Bulgaria….

Bulgaria=Bulgarian Quidditch players.

Which equals to….

"VIKTOR! Is that really you?" Hermione gasped.

She gave a surprised squeal as she recognized the famous young man before her.

"It haz been too long, Her-my-knee.." he said as he kissed her hand.

_**Looks like we have another Rob Wesley….**_

**-**

My grip on the roses I held tightened as I saw Hermione blush furiously at him. Where was I at the moment? Well I was peering through the bookcases with Dobby, spying- er, keeping close surveillance on **my Hermione.**

**Yes Ron. Don't be discouraged by this big, ugly, scum of an interruption. Hermione likes you… Harry promised!!!**

While I was reassuring myself, Dobby emerged from behind the bookcase. 'Oh my! Miss Granger seems to be smitten with that one..' he chirped. I glanced back at the pair, and it felt like someone stabbed me in the gut.

Hermione turned pink as Krum gave her a hug, whispering who knows what in her ear. She didn't even flinch to this sudden closeness.

"It seems like everyone but I can do that to her now a days." I murmured. Here was Krum, achieving what I was practicing years for, in around 5 minutes. I watched on as it looked like the bloke was about to kiss her. And it seemed like Hermione was going to let him.

It was over.

It was unfair.

And girls were so cruel…

I had had it. You win Krum.

I broke out from my hiding place and the two immediately broke away. Krum seemed to have a smirk on his face. I gave him a death glare. Then I whirled to frown at Hermione. I took a big breathe and finally shouted:

"YOU KNOW I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU!!! I'M NOT FUNNY, I'M NOT A HERO AND YOUR DADDY HATES ME! I'VE TRIED FORGETTING THAT, AND I WENT AFTER YOU ANYWAY! BUT… I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE Hermione…" my voice cracked at the last word. It was too painful. And she started crying too.

Silly girl, you have nothing to cry about…

You're supposed to be yelling at me and we're supposed to be having a huge creaming match by now. You're supposed to tell me that I'm a big dork. That what I said was stupid. That I had nothing to worry about in the first place.

_I understand… it can't be me._

I wiped off her tears and kissed her for a second. Then I dropped something on her hand.

"Good bye."

When I walked out off the library, Dobby was there, taking off the costume for his usual rags. "What did you give her, Mr. Weasley?"

"A ring. I wanted her to be mine, you see.." I smiled lightly.

Dobby took one look at my face and said, "It is alright, sir. Dobby will bring you back to your room and bring up some hot chocolate and tissues."

Never in my life have I been comforted by a house elf... but it was nice to know someone cared.

I actually laughed while the tears came.

-

**GINNY'S POV**

I liked annoying Ron. No, I _loved_ annoying him.

I'm the younger sister, so technically it is my job! Thus, I enjoyed every minute he feels torture, pain and anguish he may have. But… that rule only applies if I am the culprit. I am still family, so I do love him. Making his life hell is just how I show my love.

Still, if another person causes him misery, I will deal with them.

"Ginny! What on earth are you doing!?" _Darn. Someone spotted me._

At the moment, I, Ginny Weasley, was trying to camouflage against the bookshelves, with Extendable Ears in one hand, and binoculars in another. It was working perfectly until this no named stranger came and exposed me.

"Can't you see I'm trying to spy on my brother!!!!? I think he's finally going to blurt out his infatuation to Hermione, and I do not want to miss him royally mess up, because of some irrelevant girl!" I called back.

"I sit next to you in _**EVERY SINGLE CLASS, jerk!"**_ the girl screeched. She then stomped out of the library, leaving me to do my surveillance in piece. _Meh. I'll apologize tomorrow._

All thoughts of the female evaporated when I saw Ron drawing closer and closer to Hermione. _YES! YES, this is it!!! This will be this year's blackmail material!!! _ Four inches, Three…. And then!! ….._Krum???_

I gaped at the other figure I could see from my binoculars. I saw him use his wand to plant the magazine in Ron's path, and make his way to Hermione. "RON! STOP!! STOP!!!!!!BLACKMAIL MATERIAL!!" I hollered. I was about to stop Krum myself, when someone grabbed me by the collar. "Miss Weasley. I think it is time you left the library." It was the school's librarian._ Busted. _

_-_

So, here I was, stuck outside the library, mentally picturing the scene enfolding inside.

Surely Ron was man enough to handle Victor Krum. I mean... he's dealt with worse before! He'll manage…. Oh who am I kidding- he can't do this!! He's got the courage of a butterfly!

I was so distracted with my own thoughts I did not notice that I bumped into someone... or something! "DOBBY! WHY ARE YOU CARRYING COCOA AND TISSUES!?"

"They are for Mr. Weasley, miss!" he explained, "I transported him to his room where he is now mending his broken heart." He then proceeded to walk away, shaking his head as he went.

_That stupid Krum. This is his entire fault. _"Hey Dobby! I know another way to help Mr. Weasley… but I'm going to need you to get me back into the library!" I smiled.

Dobby nodded, but looked hesitant and anxious. He must've seen my expression; it had an air of Weasley twin hidden within it.

-

"Miss, why are we in the vents??" Dobby squeaked from beside me.

"Because, dear elf, I am banned from the library for a week. But the vents are not part of the library. This way I can deal with Krum without any trouble." I said as I crawled my way through the dusty vent. I stopped only when I saw the Bulgarian trying to console a crying Hermione. I pressed my Extendable Ears to the vent and listened:

"I'm very sorry about that. Vat an annoying boy." He said.

Hermione gave him a frown and pushed a bit away from him, wiping away her tears. "You know, Victor, I think I need to tell Ron before we go." She said seriously.

_Before you go where!? _"But vhy??" he said, " The wedding will start in six hours and if ve do not go, I think it vould be very bad! Pointless even!"

Hermione looked back at the door, "Yes, I did agree to this. Yes, let's go." And they both left the room. My jaw dropped. Wedding? Hermione!? With Krum!??

I looked to Dobby , "Dobby, I need you to take me to Ron, right away!"

-

**RON'S POV**

"Where is Dobby with my cocoa?" I wondered. It had been about an hour since I returned to my room. I had not changed out of the tuxedo yet or even blown my dripping nose. There was no point; I would continue moping for at least another few hours.

I surveyed the room and saw that I was the sole occupant of the dormitory. I frowned.

_I don't blame them for leaving. I am pathetic, just sobbing like a baby here._ But what can I do? Hermione chose someone else. It's over.

My nose was still dripping when I heard a knock on the door. "Guess it's Dobby with the tissues..." I thought. I opened it, and saw a huge bird instead. "AAAAHH!WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS A HIPPOGRIFF DOING HERE!?" My heart restarted when I saw my best friend, Dobby and my sister emerge from behind it.

"Ew, Ron! Blow your nose, please!" Ginny complained. I wiped the snot hastily on my sleeve and asked, "Why are you here, Ginny? Here to rub it in my face!! Yeah, I got rejected!!!" I yelled, "You and Harry?" I glared at him.

Dobby got in the middle of the 3 of us, and spoke: "Sir, they are here to help you retrieve your Miss." My eyes widened, "What?"

Ginny smirked, "That's right Ronny. We're here to help! Now clean up that tux! You'll need it. You are going to a wedding." I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Wedding? You don't mean…theirs?" I gulped.

Harry grabbed an envelope from his hands and said: "Well, according to this stolen invitation, it says the Krum Wedding. It doesn't say much else, but if it really is for them, we have to get you there in time for the 'I object' part, don't we?"

I took a further glimpse at the hippogriff and understood. "Harry, this is stupid. Even if make it… Nothing will change. Hermione rejected me. Game over. I'm okay with it-.."

WHAM!

Ginny punched me straight on the face; the impact was so strong I fell back on the floor. She kept slapping me as she went on:

"DO NOT GIVE ME THAT 'I'M OVER IT' GARBAGE!" she bellowed, "If you were really okay with this, you wouldn't be depressed in your bed! So what if Hermione rejected you? Try again! And again and again! But do not give up! I know you love her, and I know you don't want Krum to take her away! She loves you too you know.. why else would she cry for you!? I mean, c'mon, you're lazy, stupid, you're really ugly!!-.."

Harry hurried over and pulled her away before she strangled me while yelling out my flaws. "Well, it was a good speech up until the end." He laughed as he dragged her to the hippogriff, hand on her mouth, "She's right mate. About everything. So, get up, and let's go get Hermione."

Dobby pulled me up to my feet and said, "I also think sir should be happy."

I blushed, and started chuckling. "Yeah, I think I'll do that." I jumped on the hippogriff with Ginny and Harry. The creature galloped a bit and flew right through the window. Before he was out of hearing range, I turned back and cried out to Dobby: "Dobby, I'll give you every pair of socks I own after this!!!"

-

The security guards of the Krum wedding were warned about wedding crashers, rowdy fans, and the occasional stalker. They thought they could handle everything until they saw a small dot in the sky.

Was it a bird? Maybe a plane ? Nope, just three teenagers on a hippogriff charging this way!!!!

…Wait.

_**WTF!?**_

Poor guards…. Not only did the intruders enter the wedding hall successfully, but they also decided to park their lovely pet right on top of the whole security team.

They are certainly not paid enough for this.

-

**RON'S POV**

"You know… I think Buckbeak landed on someone, not the ground..." Ron guessed, as the trio was running through the hall, searching for the right room. "We'll apologize later, right now; let's worry about the guards inside with wands pointed at us!" Ginny gasped as she saw a crowd of wizard approaching behind them. She took out her wand.

"I can handle them all, you two hurry up!" she declared. Harry stopped running and grabbed her hand, "Are you insane!? I'm not going to let you do that!" he yelled. They both looked into each other's eyes, and hugged.

I was annoyed now. Right in the middle of this mess, they find the time to have a _romantic moment_. Yuck. "Harry, This girl has my mom's ferocity and a really killer bat bogey hex, she's fine! Careful, Ginny." I warned, pulling Harry back into a sprint.

Ginny smiled. "Yes big brother! Now go get me my future sister-in-law and take care of my future boyfriend!!" she sang. _I'm going to have to discuss that last part with her later._

It seemed like forever until we found the door with the billboard "Krum Wedding" outside. Nobody kept watch of the door because all security was alerted of a 'dangerous redheaded woman' in the building. My hand was just on the handle of the door when I got nervous. "Harry, are you sure I can do this??" I croaked.

Harry sighed, "Oh for goodness sakes, we're right outside the door, and you have doubts! Are you a Gryffindor or not?!" and he kicked me inside the wedding.

Both of us did not realize how loud our entrance was. For when we stopped bickering and looked at the audience, we found that all eyes were on us.

"Um... Oh yeah! I OBJECT! YOU CANNOT CONTINUE THIS WEDDING!" I bellowed. The audience now gasped, but I ignored them all. I ran to the front and knelt down to Hermione. The veil covered her face, I guess she was embarrassed.

"Look! I know you chose Krum , but why can't it be me! He's way older than you, and not very good looking! Don't get married to this guy, please!!! You can be mine. Be mine!" I pleaded. I looked up to her, and…

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" I demanded to the woman in the bridal gown. It wasn't Hermione! I turned to the groom and saw that it wasn't Viktor, but very similar. _And he looked really angry._

The man whirled at me and drew his wand. "WHY ARE YOU PROPOSING TO MY FIANCEE!!?" The bride then drew her wand and pointed it to my neck, "WHY ARE YOU RUINING MY WEDDING WITH ALPHONSE!?" Both their wands started to glow a bloody red color.

_Oh snap._

*Insert violent questioning and Ron pleading for mercy here*

-

**HERMIONE'S POV**

"Thanks for directing me to the bathroom, Viktor." I murmured politely.

Krum kissed my palm, "It vas my pleasure, considering you agreed to be my date to my brother's wedding." He then held my hand as we reentered the wedding room.

I drew my hand away. That action would've have made me so happy before, but it didn't have the same effect now. "Vat is wrong, Her-my-knee??" he asked.

"This. I'm sorry Viktor, but I do not think I can go back there with you! I need to go back! I left someone important behind." I said. I started walking away when I heard something from the open door. It sounded like Ron was screaming in pain. Victor peered inside to see what the commotion was and roared, "The WEDDING IS RUINED! WHO ARE THOSE TWO IDIOTS!?"

I pushed Victor aside and bolted in. There in the front was Ron being abused by the bride and groom, and Harry and Ginny trying to restrain them.

"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!!!? THIS IS NOT MY WEDDING!! ARE YOU NUTS!?" The crowd in the seats gasped at the entrance of another stranger tothe scene. Everyone in the front halted the violence, too.

Ron looked up and groaned in relief, "Yeah, I kind of figured it out." He managed to stand up and limp to me. His tuxedo was ripped and burnt. He got down on one knee and grabbed my hand. "Okay. I am not going to repeat my confession for a third time, so I'll just get to the point….Wait." He turned to the ring bearer seated right beside us. "I'm gonna borrow this." He took a ring and placed it on my finger.

"Hermione, will you be my girlfriend?" His eyes were dead serious.

I was in tears at this point. "You're nowhere near perfect. You know that right?"

Ron nodded his head. "Yeah. I know I'm not much but…"

I kissed him full on the lips before he could say anymore nonsense. _I think he got the message._ "I'll take you all the same."

And the whole room went crazy. There was crying and cheering and applauding.

And the two ran out the room, only pausing so Hermione could throw a bouquet to the crowd, which a surprised Harry Potter received. "This is so messed up." He said.

Ginny grinned at him. "Whatever. Let them be happy."

Harry smirked, "You know Ginny... They say the one who receives the bouquet gets married next."

*Insert sappy love song here*

And so, Ron and Hermione went home to Hogwarts on the hippogriff Buckbeak. Ron is still the same clueless dork he was in the beginning, but I do think he has grown quite a bit as a man. Well… No, not really. But let us just believe that the story ended that way.

And they lived happily ever after.

**The End.**

**-**

**BUT WAIT! What happened to Harry and Ginny after the Wedding??**

Harry and Ginny were in a bit of a dilemma.

"…Harry."

"Yeah?"

"They stole the hippogriff, didn't they…"

"Yup."

"SO we have no way out, right?"

"Nah.. let's just ask Krum for a ride!!"

And as if on cue one Viktor Krum darted to the two. But he did not look too pleased to see them. I wonder why..

"YOU JERKS!! That Veasley kid ran off with my brother's ring!!!"

_Oh Crud._

Harry laughed lightly and said "Well, not our problem!" he grabbed Ginny and tried to make a run for it.

But he stopped when a green light almost grazed him on the head. The flash had hit the tree in front of him instead and it combusted. Viktor Krum had his wand out and he had an evil smile on. "Repay your debts. With interest."

_Ron, when I get home, I will curse you with an army of Aragog's babies._

That day Harry lost a big part of his Gringotts savings. And Ron…

Well, Hermione is still trying to find him in the forest.

**Xoxo**

**DONE! : )**


End file.
